I love you... I hate you

I have a serious, long term relationship that is growing into a love- hate relationship.  The Lincoln Half Marathon is really becoming a love - hate relationship for me.  I love Lincoln - love it!  I love the time of year, the spectators, the course, the feel in the air, my fellow racers.  Yep, I truly love it.  I also have a strong disdain and hate for that race that grows every year.  I  hate how I can never finish that race in the time that I want to finish it in, I hate how something always happens and I fall apart in one way or another. This year it was the weather- something I have no control over.  The humidity was at 90% at race time and that just took me down.  I was doing really great the first 6 miles- right on time, actually ahead of my time pace.  The sun came out, the course turned to the trail and I died- almost literally died.  I wanted to yell at the spectators to bring me water and ice - STAT!!! I could not get enough fluids in me and enough ice down my shirt.  This race was truly awful for me- by far the worse race I have had in 4 years.  Was it my worse time ever- no- but it wasn't my best- and guess what? I am okay with it.  I am okay because the leaders had problems with keeping fluids and the humidity, I am okay with it because even marathoners decided to just run half of it, I am okay with it because I truly struggled and am so glad I finished and was not the girl at the last corner down with medics over her.  I hate the fact that I did not accomplish another goal but I will try again next year and hope for better conditions.  I know I am improving and I know that one of these years I will get there. 

Up next for me- Warrior Dash in June- majorly looking forward to running with my sister and getting a little dirty.  After that I am going to break the 25 minute mark on a 5k- yep I am putting it out there.  I have come pretty close and I think I can do it.  According to Runners World you are a "serious" runner if you break 25 minutes.  I apparently need that validation to think of myself as a serious runner.  I am going to spend the summer working on that and training for Market to Market.  I am on a team again this year and I am super stoked about that.  I would do another half if it wasn't for that race- I don't want to push my body too much and really Market to Market is another half just in three stages.